We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

the slow

by kayce guthmiller

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
the slow 02:44
mind if I take shelter for awhile simpleness and self found in this mile contour of the land remains the same no resonance with illness thoughts or blame mountains here weren’t made just in a day if my bones are dirt, my skin the sage comfort in familiarity fall into patterns of memory dread for the slow won’t consume us in the end circumstance led me to you again
2.
I go 03:56
is everything bad? I wonder if the moon knows how much will we have before we feel grateful? I don't have to ask for the right folks to hold me though the sky up here seems black starlight in your eyes will show me and if I go would you be lonely and if I go would you follow me dear and if I go would you be lonely and if I go would you follow me dear I forget how it sounds with all these people around me we would listen for silence growing up in that valley to think if I could capture something about that old particular silence you wouldn't take it for granted how do you cope with the bad and the good things presently? is the feeling of smallness, of floating in space threatening? do you see the meaning of this? after us there will be darkness
3.
fixation 04:23
there you are road stretched before you unseen mile after mile question if you're headed home or just left it their eyes linger in your mind wake up gasping how long till this fades? will they nurture the parts of you that stayed? do ya have a lot on your mind? or is my brain just fooling me when you're seen by new eyes your thoughts eclipsed by leavin through them you know more about your heart on the rooftop laughin how could one thing keep away the dark, and without words express what could've happened? to coexist when it all falls apart to exchange softness how much of you is really them? and when you leave who emerges? do ya have a lot on your mind? or is my brain just fooling me when you're seen by new eyes your thoughts eclipsed by leavin this is not the end not just my fixation do ya have a lot on your mind? I have a wanting heart this is not the end not just my fixation
4.
brother, will you let me hide behind you? will you feed your polished truth? brother, beware my heart and my mind, dualities plague our kind. you’ll wake up to find me blindly protecting the salvage, hollow effigy. projections of apathy run deep, figured hereditary. silence, ancestral enemy. just how far does memory go written in our genetic code? corporeal experience shows distances our bodies don't know.
5.
butter in a hot pan wonderbread in little hands what more could I need growing up on fried bologna and when I am full there is a freedom that I have I wanna own one of those million dollar homes signify to those without we have different things to care about can I let the light in reveal the things you’re hiding convince me I’ll grow behind boarded up windows tell me I’ll be safe when breaking in to our own home I wanna own one of those million dollar homes signify to those without we have different things to care about if I owned a million dollar home abandon the little kid with out beneath me are things she cares about
6.
peter is moving back to san diego today
7.
soft 04:01
I've never seen my skin look like this blue in the wrist and the yellow hospital lights and you in my mind's eye from one hundred miles away can you fathom perpetual machinery finally failing me now? lapse of judgement, wounds I feel cauterized, heartbeat on the screen before my eyes. how do I remain soft when I don't want to feel don't want to feel? excavate your brain, fossilized affections and atrophied confessions. I remain soft when I don't want to feel pain. the most that you'll speak is within my dreams, subconsciousness gifts your love to me. I want to see you the moment the lilac blooms, staring past that purple hue. can you fathom forcing domesticity living in that fabricated dream? lack of judgement, “Was I too slow” this time? tell me “did I change overnight?”
8.
frankie 05:01
had to take her art off of the walls emptiness reminds me I’m not whole and I can’t bare being lonely anymore just you and me now, sorry to say she’ll walk on you the weekends but you know it’s not the same now I’m the only one to clean dog shit out of this too-big apartment so what are we gonna what are we gonna what are we gonna do what are we gonna what are we gonna what are we gonna do, frankie? at least the 9 to 5 will keep me sane maybe I’ll see that girl again who always orders the same thing she might notice me this time if I suggest oat milk over almond I scheme a plan to get her in my door frank needs walks and I need love what more are women for who believe in kindness easily and wanna hang out with my cute dog I ask if she would please take off her shoes I apologize and say I’ve got no beverage to offer you only one thirsty person here the other one’s here for my cute dog so what are we gonna what are we gonna what are we gonna do what are we gonna what are we gonna what are we gonna do, frankie? have you ever imagined something before it plays out? you can tell when a person is in or out my frankie seems to know he’s a good judge you might be the missing piece of us uneasily she says she has to go I open my arms, think to myself ‘you’re fucked if you say no’ and after you leave I’ll start a portrait of her for my wall so what are we gonna what are we gonna what are we gonna do what are we gonna what are we gonna what are we gonna do, frankie? that’s what ya get for always being nice can’t ya see the idea of you fits so squarely in my life so glad you were born sometime during my first year of high school
9.
kuna 05:35
expect me to come home late tonight I will try to be quiet cuz when you’re young you lose track of time of course you remember, of course you’ll hide it accepting this will disintegrate the more we’ll lose if we fight it the trains out here still run on time in the sound of us laughing, we’ll be reminded suddenly you’re gray can’t deny that you lived the years I spent away fabricated memories of a consolation brain antibodies for inevitable pain I’m guessing I need to snap out of it it went by, I was behind it still see in you a certain light what’s forged in the fire remains ignited suddenly you’re gray can’t deny that you lived the years I spent away fabricated memories of a consolation brain antibodies for inevitable pain and when they’re gone, assure me I’ll find their voice in my laughter, their thoughts on my mind
10.
what you keep from this world you will never touch an open hand and a broken heart you'll live to see the world fall apart but the soil gives freely well there's grapes on the vine and squash on the ground and the apples near the river nearly ready to be found and leave it to me to entangle my heart in a place never mine and the robins in the ash leave long before the earth was warm with sunlight there are sheets on the couch and lights on at night and the danger in the mirror you've not the age to realize and leave it to me to entangle my heart in a place never mine and the flesh where you grew me removed to ensure the length of your life

about

"yep, you gotta find silver linings when ya can"


all gratitude to cornish college of the arts, dr. kaley lane eaton, heather bentley, joe oakes, james falzone.
thanks to: meg, amy, and stanli eichelberger, reyna, thaddeus, wes, and peter, and to dad and to mom
thanks and love to my james for all the help, patience, and unconditional support.
this work is a product of so many dear people giving, listening, and caring.

credits

released May 7, 2021

all songs written between 2017 & 2020
recorded, performed, & produced by kayce guthmiller
drums by james coffin
mastering by joe oakes

recorded february 9 - 13, 2021 alone in an airbnb on whidbey island, wa
"frankie" recorded in kerry hall room 207, cornish college of the arts, seattle, wa
field recording on "the slow" and "robins in the ash" from the farm, kuna, id, march 2020
field recording on "peter is moving back to san diego today" from my apartment window, seattle, wa, summer 2020


cover photograph of the farm, kuna, id, 2016

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

kayce guthmiller Seattle, Washington

viola and voice sounds

contact / help

Contact kayce guthmiller

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like kayce guthmiller, you may also like: